Networking. I’ve always admired those who can swarm the room, confidently, with the best handshakes, corny jokes, and belly laughs. In actuality, I used to believe those were the only kind of people who could get what they really wanted in life — people with super, explosive personalities and those who could make friends with anyone. Those kind of people were like-able, but those kind of people were the complete opposite of who I am.
By nature, I’m a complete introvert. The sound of silence, movies, books, learning, and independent work honestly thrills me. It takes me a while to let people in on how crazy I can be. I’ve always known this about myself, but it doesn’t mean that I’ve always been 100% accepting of it either. Society ingrains and celebrates extroversion to the max. So, it took me years to be OK with the fact that sometimes, I can be pretty quiet and that being quiet isn’t always a bad or weird thing. It’s actually pretty cool.
It wasn’t until after finding out my Myers-Briggs personality type, that I really began to understand why or what introversion truly means on a cognitive level. According to the test, I am an INFP. I’m introverted, intuitive, a feeler, and a perceiver. In other words, I gain a lot of my energy from being alone. I can feel when something is “off.” I’m a super empath, and I prefer a relaxed and free life over one of rigid structure. Normally, I don’t agree with any kind of test that contributes to the labeling of people, but this one was pretty spot on. If you haven’t taken the Myers-Briggs personality test, I’ll link it below. I recommend it because it gives you a lot more insight on the strengths and weaknesses of your personality and how to use them to your advantage.
Knowing the results, has helped me navigate the working world a little better and understand why I am the way I am. It also helped me realize that I wasn’t the only one on the planet who cringes at the thought of networking and small-talk.
Now, I understand that I don’t have to be the loudest person in the room to get what I want. I can be the most interesting. If you’re an introvert, who needs to network, but doesn’t really know how, this one’s for you. Below, are 5 keys from my experience and what’s helped me build better connections.
Preparation is Key
Before I go to any networking event, meeting, or interview, I always prepare. I know that speaking in front of people all the time doesn’t excite or come natural to me, so I take time to make sure I’m knowledgeable about whatever it is I want to accomplish in the actual meeting. Whether it’s learning more about the person or organization or learning more about myself and what I can offer them, I try to make sure I’m well versed or at least have some idea of why I’m there or what to ramble about so that I’m not caught off guard when it’s time to talk. I also know that I need a lot of alone time to be energized and to feel my best, so I usually spend the day relaxing with myself just to avoid any interaction burnouts or antisocial moods. No one likes a party pooper. Going in with a plan and knowledge of what I’m talking about really boosts my social confidence as an introvert.
Looking the Part is Key
It’s no secret: When you look good, you feel good. I find this to be extremely true, especially when I’m nervous or anxious about going off to network. If I’m “feeling myself,” I know that even if I don’t get to say two words, I’ll look good and feel good enough to smile or stay in a chipper mood the whole time because I look great. Plus, I’ve noticed that it usually makes room for conversation starters and breaking the ice. For instance, you might not be the social butterfly, but someone in the room is. More than likely, they’ll ask you something in reference to your appearance and you can then blab on and on about where you got your cute shoes, what perfume you’re wearing, or compliment them on something of theirs that you like. Trust me, it works.
Bringing a Buddy is Key
When I know I’m not going to know anyone there and the event is just too much to fathom, I find that bringing a buddy along is always helpful. This doesn’t mean bringing someone I’m already comfortable with just to ignore or avoid everyone else in the room. That would be pretty counterproductive. It just means having someone I can retreat to when I am done talking, so that I don’t feel as awkward or obligated to find someone else. I also try to bring a buddy who’s an extrovert or more of a socialite than I am because they can be the person who helps me find my groove in conversations with others. And more importantly, they can be my scapegoat reason and a great exit strategy when it is time to leave. 😉
Being Yourself is Key
If no one ever praised you for being an introvert, I want to take a moment to celebrate you! You’re probably one of the most creative, kindest, and intriguing individuals on the planet. You prefer to watch or listen when everyone else is too busy talking to find or hear the solution. That my friend, is a gift and will work to your advantage if and when you meet someone who absolutely loves people, places, and conversation. As I mentioned, it used to be pretty hard for me to accept that I couldn’t move the room as energetically as others. It wasn’t until I accepted that being exuberant all the time just wasn’t me that I began to thrive in networking. I began to do things and connect in ways that suited me, yet still allowed me to put myself out there. For instance, I created this here website because I knew it would be a visual representation of my inner strengths when I was being too introverted to talk about them. I use my writing skills a lot because email is a form of networking, too. At events, I go for a one-on-one, meaningful conversation instead of 5 pointless ones because I enjoy connecting with others on a deeper and more impactful level. Not being or doing what everyone else does often ends up working to my advantage and allows me to be really strategic. It allows others to see my true uniqueness.
Putting Yourself Out there is Key
If it was up to us, we would sit in our caves all day, making things, binging Netflix series, and snacking, but the world moves off of human interaction, so we can’t…not if we want to be great. I used to be weirded out by talking to others, especially about myself and my work. Now, I understand how important it is to put yourself out there no matter how much it puts you out of your comfort zone. It’s completely worth it to share your innovative ideas and deep thoughts with other people. The more you do, the less awkward it will feel. I promise. Plus, what I’ve also learned is that I’m usually not the only one in the room who’s shy or would rather not be there in attempt to make the impression. People aren’t scary or that much more foreign than we are. We each have a lot more in common than we think we do. We just experience and share parts of ourselves in different ways.
That’s all. Thanks always, for reading my words. Like, comment, and most importantly, share this with someone you think could use it! Until next time, peace and love to you and your journey.
Myer-Briggs Personality Test:
https://www.mbtionline.com/?utm_source=MBF&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=online